[See note regarding source FILOFAX.]
PL: Could you describe your first meeting with Dumbledore?
FILOFAX: Oh, it was nothing remarkable. You can imagine it. ‘Gilderoy! What a pleasure to see you again. You were such a fine young man when you left us . . . not so many years ago was it? Well. What a delight to have you on staff.’ That sort of pish posh. He stayed tight-lipped for quite a while. Didn’t let anything slip. Hardly even acknowledged the, er, nature of my employment.
PL: Why was he so closed off?
FILOFAX: Lack of trust I imagine, yes? He knew how badly he’d bollocksed the Phase 1 operation, the whole carnage with the Philosopher’s Stone. You know all about that, I suspect. No, he had the suspicion all along that the Duchess had sent me to spy on him. He isn’t a fool, Dumbledore. I’m a rather good occlumens, of course – comes with the trade. But he reads you quite well. Only a few out there who can really close themselves off to those piercing eyes. The rest of us have to resort to our own skillsets to outfox him. In my case, that’s my vast knowledge of the principles of human infatuation.
PL: You opted to charm him?
FILOFAX: Charms are for lasses and halfwits who can’t make Transfiguration, love. No. I seduced him.
PL: How long did it take?
FILOFAX: A gentleman never tells. Don’t be impertinent now.
PL: I mean – how long did it take for Dumbledore to open up to you?
FILOFAX: Care to ask that again? I’ll have to spank you if you keep on with this naughtiness.
PL: How long did it take before Dumbledore was willing to discuss his plans with you regarding Harry James Potter?
FILOFAX: Ah. About three weeks. I arrived there at the start of August. By the end of the month our plans were well underway.
PL: Could you describe those plans?
FILOFAX: I can try, at least. Well, sometime in in the first week, I believe, Dumbledore inquired as to my knowledge of the Chamber of Secrets. I told him the truth: quite little. He shared with me then that 1992 was something of an anniversary at Hogwarts – the Golden Jubilee, as it were, of the last opening of said Chamber.
PL: What reason did he give for providing this information?
FILOFAX: He didn’t say; not at first. Well, I believe he said, ‘Don’t tell anyone, but I’m wondering if what we all need right now is a good Halloween scare.’
PL: Dumbledore said that?
FILOFAX: I said he said it, didn’t I? I never lie. Not to you at least, my dear.
PL: So Dumbledore asked you to support him in a Halloween ‘scare’ related to the Chamber of Secrets?
FILOFAX: Yes, that’s about right. At first he mentioned it once or twice in passing, almost like it was a bit of a naughty joke between the two of us. I’d begun taking tea with him, you see. He found great delight in my predilection for Portuguese custards. We had many a gay old time in his office. But it really began with planning this little prank.
PL: What were the logistics – how did he intend to go about this ‘prank’?
FILOFAX: Well, he said it would be best if a student opened the Chamber. I didn’t understand at first what he meant by that. But eventually I got it out of him. To open the Chamber meant to release a charming Medieval beast upon the student population, in the hopes of ravaging them. Nasty humour the man has. He has the most dreadful books in his private collection, naughty in the highest degree . . .
PL: By beast, do you mean the Slytherin Basilisk?
FILOFAX: Oh, you know quite a bit, don’t you? I suppose we’re speaking after the fact. Prior to ’92, we knew almost nothing of it. The entire thing had been buried – wiped out of history, you see. It was a great embarrassment. In ’42, as I’m sure you know, a girl died. Terrible mess of paperwork. Never to be repeated.
PL: So Dumbledore hoped to re-open the Chamber – to what end – surely not simply to frighten his students?
FILOFAX: No, no, surely not. He always has some other intention behind his actions, doesn’t he? No, he wanted to involve a particular student. Harry James Potter. Heard of him? I jest. Of course you have.
PL: He intended Potter to open the Chamber?
FILOFAX: At first. It was all but a half-formed plan in his sweet, doddering head before he met your Filofax. I was the one who birthed it, formed it. I massaged it from the old man like – well, you’ve asked me to refrain from excessive entendre.
PL: Thank you – could you explain in detail how the plan shifted after you became involved?
FILOFAX: I can show you, if you’d like.
next file: filofax mem. 9.8.92 >>
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